a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize