Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
