Who wears a wallet chain?!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
