Don't you send me to vm
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
