The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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