i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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