Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
