I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
