i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
