we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
