Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
