Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
