SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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