Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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