My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
