My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
