yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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