watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
