But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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