She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You made out with two different species that night
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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