I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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