And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
