so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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