WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Randomize
