I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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