so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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