How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
