I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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