Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
we're so committed to being not committed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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