how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize