Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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