Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
