The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize