Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize