I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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