haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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