ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
