I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
