Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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