How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
