debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
