so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
