Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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