So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize