thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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