I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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