Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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