Christians are straight up FREAKS
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
