Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
