Can Purell be used as lube?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
