I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
