Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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