She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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