Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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