this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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