Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
