I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
