I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
