The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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