How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
