Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize