this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
