are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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